


소녀에서 여자로

by Indigo SJ (AuthorSJ)



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 07:52:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11249376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorSJ/pseuds/Indigo%20SJ
Summary: You as the reader experience what it's like to date Day6's YoungK for the short time that you're in Korea.





	소녀에서 여자로

**Author's Note:**

> May or may not be based on a true story.

              It had been one year since you first stepped foot in Korea. Back then, you knew nothing about the language, a little about the culture, but oh so much about the music. That’s how you two first met, after all. Well, if music includes almost getting knocked out by a kid zooming by on his bicycle, late for class whether he had hit you or not, and an unexpected coffee . You can remember it clearly, that first encounter, and you laugh about it now, sure, but back then all you could think of was one word: murder. It’s not entirely your fault, and neither is it entirely his fault- it was the universe’s fault for all you knew- but someone was going to have to pay and it wasn’t going to be you. 

              He was speaking in Korean to you, when he first ran into you, hoping that you’d understand but seeing your face he switched to English quicker than you could process it. Already one semester in*, you had a fairly okay grasp on Korean, except for on that day.

              “Are you okay, I’m so sorry I hit you but I’m late for my test!” he said getting back on his bike, “Meet me at the cafeteria at two and I’ll buy you a meal!” he yelled as he jumped on his bike and sped off before you could even reply.

              _“What just happened?”_ you thought to yourself. “ _And who has a test on the second day of school… lying bastard.”_

              “Are you okay?” a passerby asked and you nodded, saying he was your friend and that it was alright.

              _“Why am I lying for this kid?”_ you kicked yourself for it, but hey, a free meal.

 

              You waited and two o’clock came and went, and not a single sight of this boy. It was three in the afternoon when you had finished buying your _own_ lunch and you were walking around campus when you saw him riding his bike from a distance and you could feel your face contorting a bit, but you shook it off and continued to walk. If he really wanted to buy you something, he would have shown up!

              “Hey it’s you!” he called out, but you paid him no mind and continued to walk.

              “Hey I’m really sorry about earlier, I was looking for you at the cafeteria but you didn’t show up.”

              You stopped in your tracks and turned around, causing him to pull on his breaks to avoid hitting you _again_.

              “Didn’t show up?” you spat angrily, “I waited there until three and _you_ were the one who didn’t show up!”

              He stood there silent for a little as you turned and walked on again, and you heard him begin to pedal. From your peripheral, you could see his bike as he followed you. (Neither of you specified exactly  _which_ on-campus cafeteria to go to, and you had found out later that you went to opposite ones).

              “Then how about dinner? We’ll go to a café together right now first and then a little later, dinner.” He offered.

              _“Why not?”_ you kicked yourself for the thought, but hey, _two_ free meals.

              When you arrived at the nearby café and you finally got a chance to look at his face- God he was cuter than you had remembered. _How dare he_ _be this cute_. Possibly because it was all of the sudden, but it took you even more by surprise when he asked you to sit at the front counter of the café, him going elsewhere. The place was really small, no more than fifteen people could fit inside, but it was relatively empty at that time. A large mirror was along the back wall, and a half-destroyed ‘aesthetic’ brick wall divided the front bar area where you were and the back area where the rest of the seating was.

              He came back with a white dress shirt and a black vest on and he stepped behind the counter with a smile.

              “What will it be?” he asked.

              You were startled for a bit. Was this really happening? He did _not_ just step behind the counter looking cuter than when you had met him. You felt your jaw drop a tiny bit, and your eyes squinted at him, trying to process what was going on.

              “Are you okay?”

              “I’m thinking about what to order.” You lied quickly and he nodded with a smile. “How about, you surprise me?”

              “Surprise?” he was taken back and thought for a moment. You could tell when he had gotten an idea because his face lit up slightly and he turned around to start making the coffee.

              You waited and observed both him and the coffee shop around him some more. There was something entertaingly unsettling about the sign behind him that looked like an ordinary road sign, but read “WARNING! KEEP OUT!” in bold letters, but the smaller font underneath read, “Trespassers will be violated”. You snorted out a laugh. 

              The overall atmosphere was endearing: the industrial light bulbs hanging from the ceiling, the wine barrel they used in the back area as a table, the string of ivy growing on the top shelf. It had a home feeling- especially being so far away from yours.

              He turned around carefully, with a hot coffee in his hand, the lid off. You looked at the foam and the design was cute! You heard yourself make a little gasp and you looked up to see his face full of pride.

              “I will admit that’s pretty neat.” Your voice calmed down as you took a sip and it was unlike any other coffee before.

              “Is it good?”

              “It’s okay.” You put the coffee down and he nodded. “I’m kidding, this is actually really great coffee.”

              His smile lit up even more – he was clearly so excited.

              You noticed as the day went on while in the café, that the customers would take the coffee and leave, preferring to walk elsewhere rather than stay indoors and you began to wonder if he had heard many compliments on his coffee before. The machine to make the coffee had not stopped since you got there, and it was fun to see him concentrate on his work diligently. You took slow sips of your coffee, secretly wanting it to last longer than it did. You had been doing a little bit of homework at the counter, nothing that would take up too much space, and whenever he had a bit of spare time you would catch him eyeing your notebook.

              “Are you drawing?” he asked and without waiting, asked, “ _What_ are you drawing?”

              “Some ideas,” you lied before closing the book. “I have to jot them all down or else I’ll forget.”

              He smiled. Probably because he was the type not to forget anything. Ever.

              “Hey, again, I’m really sorry I ran into you with my bike. I woke up late, and I was rushing and I should have been more careful.”

              “I’m not.” By the time you heard those words come out of your mouth it was too late and he laughed a hearty laugh.

              You closed your eyes and bit your lip hard, what an embarrassing thing to say.

              “I can’t say I blame you, you’re getting coffee and dinner out of it.” He was grinning from ear to ear. _Did he really find it that funny?_

              Dinner was something else, though. A tossup between hearing him speaking in Korean (which was more than you could handle- the sound of his voice was so nice to hear in any language) and how delicious the food was (and if you weren’t careful he would have eaten it all before you had the chance. Boy, could he eat. Oddly, it made you comfortable enough to eat as much as you enjoyed as well. The conversations were informative, almost like an interview back and forth. Getting to know each other was a blessing and a curse.

              “Ah!” he patted his stomach with a stretch afterwards, “I’m so full I could go for dessert, what do you say?”

              “Oh, no, that’s okay.” You panicked. You were about to explode, you were so full.

              “Then let’s take a walk? I’m sorry but I really liked listening to you talk.” He smiled.

              “O-kay.” You replied with doubt, certainly your voice wasn’t _that_ nice to hear, or, at least, nobody had told you that before (and if they _had_ mentioned something before, it's not like you believed them, either).

              It was almost uncanny how quickly you two got along together. Walking through campus at night was full of other couples, but it didn’t feel odd to be walking with this _somewhat_ complete stranger.

              “You never told me what major you’re in.”

              “Art.” You shrugged.

              “I should have figured that out by your notebook in the café.” He smirked.

              “And you?”

              “Business administration.”

              “Interesting, I wouldn’t have thought you were into that.”

              “Oh, no?”

              “Yeah.” You nodded.

              “If it’s any consolation, I’m also in a band.”

              “Oh really? Do you guys play?” you asked withholding some enthusiasm. If it was one thing you really liked, it was seeing bands play.

              “Yeah, we do small gigs here and there. You should come!” he said with a smile.

              “That sounds like a lot of fun, actually.”

              “Oh, wait,” he patted his pockets, “I forgot my phone again.” He looked pissed off at himself (and you would learn, in time, that it's a habit that he wouldn't have his phone on him).

              “I would offer you my phone but it hasn’t been set up with a telephone company yet.” You sighed.

              “No?” he was shocked. “If you need help, I’m off from work tomorrow and I only have one class in the morning.” He made a gun gesture with his fingers and put it to his head. “Gotta love those eight in the morning classes.”

              You giggled at his gesture, “I have an eight o’clock as well.”         

              “But here, do you have kakao?” he asked and you nodded, “Let me put my ID in your kakao and you can text me back later when you have wi-fi.”

              Handing over your phone, he handed it back so you could unlock it and you forgot about your embarrassing lock and home screens. Quickly you pressed the app’s button and gave it to him. He was giggling as he typed it in and sent a message to himself so even _you_ wouldn’t forget to do it.

              “안뇽” it read.

              “Do you know how to read Korean?” he inquired and you nodded, you weren't  _that_ hopeless- it had already been half a year since you came to Korea. He still seemed relatively impressed, regardless. “How about speaking?” he prodded further and you shook your head "Not that much."

              “I see. I think it would be fun if you could speak Korean with me sometime.”

              “I’ll be studying it so maybe one day.” You said.

              “Wait, what time is it?” he asked and he checked your phone’s time and began to panic. “I totally forgot about band practice, I have to go! I’m sorry about dessert maybe some other time, yeah?”

              “S-sure?” you questioned- you totally forgot about going to dessert.

              “And you know how to get back to the dorms, right?” he asked and you quickly nodded, “Okay! Bye!” he yelled and began to sprint in the other direction. 

 

              “What an odd boy.” You thought to yourself as you made it back to your dorm, but you found yourself thinking about him more and more and it made you smile.

 _Zrrt zrrt!_ Your phone vibrated on your desk and it made you jolt, it had been quiet for so long.

              Picking it up to look at it, you saw you had a message from him. “Younghyun!!!!!” the name read. _Is that what he named himself as in my phone?_

              “Sorry about bolting!!” he text, “You made it back to your dorm right?”

              “Yes thanks^^” you replied.

              “Try to get some sleep for your 8AM tomorrow okay hahahaha”

              “you too!!” you responded and you thought about it for a moment and text:

              “hey~

              thanks for today!

              I was kind of nervous about being in korea and you really helped make my third day really stress free~~! I owe you one”

              The little number next to the message went away immediately and your heart jumped, but why? It wasn’t like you liked this kid, right? Was it just that you had someone to talk to now that you were excited? You didn’t know but you were impatient for his next answer.

              “sooooo does that mean you’re buying dessert :P"

              You laughed to yourself and responded, “o~kay it’s a deal”

              “night!”

              “night”

 

 

              Still too early to function, you moved around your room and tried not to wake up your roommate in the process. You fixed your hair a little, put on a touch of makeup, and got yourself dressed and out of the door. Down the elevator you went and you began your walk across campus following a map carefully.

              You arrived to class early, as you usually did, and pulled out your sketchbook and began to doodle to keep yourself awake. It was fifteen minutes until class started and nobody was still in the room.

              “Is that what you were drawing yesterday?” you heard a voice and immediately you slammed your book shut. It was Younghyun and he couldn’t help but laugh.

              Turning around to glare at him, you expression suddenly changed when you saw that he had two coffees in his hand.

              “I thought you could use one just the same as me.” He smiled and despite the fact that it was iced americano, you drank it anyway. _Murder_.

             "But how did you know I was going to be in this class?" you questioned and he smiled. (I was after a friend of his had come into the classroom asking Younghyun for the coffee, to which he replied that it had been donated and he gave a wide smile. You didn't feel guilty in the least bit as you sipped away at it).

               “Yes, though, it was what I was drawing.” You confessed as he looked over the sketch of himslf, “Please don’t think it’s weird.”

              “No, it’s really good!” he sat down next to you.

              “Wait, are you in this class?”

              “I’m not stalking you if that’s what you’re thinking. If anything, you’re following me. I told you about this class first.”

              “Is that how it is?” you joked.

              “Yeah, that’s how it is.” He took a sip of his coffee.

              It made you smirk.

              “Hey, this is a business class, though, why are you taking it?”

              “It’s required.” You pursed your lips.

              “For art?”

              “I didn’t make the rules.” You shook your head.

              “Well, if you wanna study for it, I’d be willing to help.” He smiled as much as he could while rubbing his tired eyes. Something about the fact that he looked like he rolled out of bed was somewhat endearing. The hoodie over his head, his closing eyes, his messy, wet hair- it was, dare you admit it, _cute_.

              _Oh no. Why is your heart beating a little faster? This is not what you wanted at eight in the morning_.

              “You okay?” he nudged you with his elbow.

              “As okay as anyone can be at eight in the morning on a Wednesday.” You lied and he snorted a laugh.

             

              The class finished itself and the two of you lazily strolled out of campus and into the town- it was time to get your phone plan done. You had help picking the most affordable plan, and it was a breeze with someone there to speak Korean for you. In and out in no time at all.

              “What should we have for dessert?”

              “It’s… eleven in the morning, isn’t it too early to think about that?”

              “Nonsense.” He looked at you and laughed.

              “Oh, thanks for the coffee, by the way, what do I owe you for that?”

              “It was a gift.” He nodded and you pulled out your wallet but he shook his head, “What are your plans for the rest of the day? You still owe me dessert.”

              “I’m going to an orientation for a club and then they’re taking us to eat after or something.”

              Younghyun was silent for a moment and then spoke up, “Is it Dongguk IF, is it?”

              You pursed your lips and nodded.

              “Interesting.” He smiled. “Have fun!”

              “Thanks.” you were curious about it.

              “Do you know what time it’ll be over?”

              “No, why?”

              “My band is playing tonight, so if you wanted to come see it…” his voice trailed off as he shrugged.

              “Really?” your eyes lit up, and his did when he saw your enthusiasm.

              “I mean, we’re friends now, right? Friends should support friends.” He looked off to the side and _what?_ _Friends?_ _It’s been two days_.

              “Uh, huh.” Your look made him laugh.

              “So, will you come? The show starts at seven. We can get dessert after!” he smiled. It was honestly hard to say ‘no’ to that.

             

              You parted ways after a bit more exchange and you forgot about it for the rest of the day. You made new friends during your club meeting and had good laughs and arrived back at your dorm to relax. Looking at the time, the clock shown seven ten.

              “ _Seven… was there something I had to- oh my God! Younghyun's band!”_

As quick as you could, you jumped up and threw on your sneakers, taking your dorm pass and your wallet only and sprinting out of the house. Using the directions he had text to you, you made it there in ten minutes. His band had already finished playing- the first in a set of three lined up for the night and you were completely dismayed when you found out. You couldn’t find him anywhere in the vicinity and you were a bit apprehensive to text him, but you did anyway.

              “!!! I’m so sorry I missed your show tonight…”

              “oh its okay”

 

              Just by the way he responded you could tell that he wasn’t happy to hear that you weren't there.  You would have bet that he thought you were lying about wanting to go, especially after you questioned being friends with him earlier. With a heavy heart, you returned to the dorm.

 

              Aside from class, where he started to sit in the back to concentrate more, you hadn’t physically seen him outside of school, and you felt bad for a while, but studied hard with the time that you had free. You kept up with his band on the internet, making sure to keep track of shows and attend them. You’d stand in the back and make sure to keep a watchful eye, but also making sure that he couldn’t spot you. It felt weird, that you were avoiding him suddenly, but the more you did the more you found yourself wanting to talk to him, and in late October, you received a message from him.

              _Zrrt zrrt_! Your phone buzzed, and again you jolted.

              “Younghyun” the name read- you had changed it a little while ago.

 

              “heyo~! Long time no see!!” he messaged, “I’m going to go out tonight so lets catch up!!!”

              You thought about it for a moment. Reading it already took away the number beside the message, so you would have to respond sooner rather than later. _Curse Kakao’s read function._  

              “what time? where should I meet you??” you replied.

 

              After getting the details, you made sure to make yourself look cuter than normal and you left your dorm. Arriving, you looked through the doors but couldn’t see him inside, so you waited patiently for him next to it. The café was cute and it was a quiet atmosphere and it made you smile.

              “Hey there!” you heard his voice and you turned to your right to see him smiling.

              “Hi.” you waved and his smile grew brighter.

              “My friends will be arriving soon, they live in a different area so let’s grab the table in the back since it has the most seats.

              “Sure. How many friends are coming?” you asked as you both entered through the doors.

              “Five others.”

              “Oh? I’m not intruding on anything, right?”

              “Definitely not,” he shook his head, “I invited you, didn’t I?”

              “That’s true.” You nodded.

              The five of them joined in together and they were all introduced to you. Younghyun offered to help translate for you and you thanked him, because even though you had been studying, it had only been a few months- there was only so much you could have known by that time.

              You found out his band mate Jae was from California, and the two of you got on pretty well, making comfortable jokes back and forth, and while the first round of drinks came, you were doing more listening than speaking but it was nice to see them all chattering and laughing together. You sipped on your drink until the same boy from California asked you a question.

              “So, did Brian actually tell you what he brought you out here for or did he, like, leave you in the dark?”

              Your eyebrows scrunched a bit. _Who?_ Seeing your expression only, he started to laugh and you could see Younghyung’s jaw had dropped a little- did the boy tell you something you weren’t supposed to hear?

              “Yo,” Jae hit your shoulder lightly, “Younghyun’s English name is Brian.”

              A snort of a laugh escaped your lips a little bit. It was unexpected, for sure. _Brian_. It had a nice ring to it and it made you smile.

              “No, though, he just said it was a gathering.” You shrugged.

              “I really asked you here to ask a favor of you.” He grit his teeth, cursing himself, “Plus we never got dessert that one time.”

              “So _that’s_ what this is about, huh? Time to pay the piper.”

              He laughed, “No, but yes. I wanted to ask if you’d be willing to do our makeup.”

              _What?_

              “We have a gig on Halloween and we wanted to get our makeup done a little bit.” He smiled, “Can you do something like that, you think?”

              You thought about it. It wouldn’t be much different than painting, and plus you _had_ taken some makeup classes before as well as just playing around on your own with makeup.

              “I don’t see why not.” You smiled and everyone was excited.

             

              The group left earlier than he did, saying he would catch up to them in a moment.

              “Thanks so much, I really owe you one.” He said to you with a smile.

              “I still owe you dessert!” you laughed.

              “Next time.” he nodded. “Can I get a hug before you go?”

             

              Okay, so it’s not like it’s the first time you’ve ever hugged someone in your life, but boy did it feel like a brand-new experience. Friends hug kindly, and it’s full of friendship but this? What was this feeling? The hug was such a careful embrace and it felt warm and cozy and it was the perfect length of time and the perfect tightness- it was just _perfect_. It made your heart skip a beat again and you couldn’t help but smile even more. _He_ was beaming and he looked so excited as he waved goodbye to you and caught up with the group that had been waiting on the corner for a taxi.

              _Zrrt zrrt!_

“Oh my God!” you jumped and held your chest, you had been too startled.

 

              “heyo~!” it was Younghyun not more than five minutes after he entered the taxi. “here’s the details for the makeup thingy!! Thank you sosososososososososoososo much for doing this for us!!”

              “hahahaha anytime!”

              “댕규~~~”

             

              You had dressed up as a simple vampire, the makeup and the fangs and a cute outfit all in black as well as a large-brim hat. Sort of a modern-take on it. You couldn’t help but laugh when you saw Younghyun as a classic, hair-slicked vampire with the cape and all. He giggled about how you guys had matched by accident. Before the gig you prepared their makeup- vampire blood lines and cuts and bruises- it looked neat from what you could tell, and they were all excited that you had done it for them. Just before he went onstage, Younghyun gave you another hug, thanking you for the makeup.

              “I’ll hug you now rather than later, because I might be all hot and sweaty after the show.” He laughed and then ran to join the rest of the group as they lined up to go onstage.

             

              After the concert, he left in his van and you left to your dorm and on the subway ride there, you received a message from him:

              “Let’s hang out tomorrow night!”

              You replied positively and thought it was nice that you could reconnect with him after such a long time. Dressing cutely once again, you met him at night and then _really_ caught up with what you had been doing with your own separate lives. You learned that he quit his job as the coffee shop manager, and that he was now in a full-time band with his company, that they had debut in September (not that you _hadn’t_ known, since you were keeping up with them, but you pretended to be really surprised for him anyway). But you also could hear the stress in his words and the tiredness on his face, the smiles he gave were exhausted and sleepless and you couldn’t help but look at him more.

              In exchange, you told him your worries, your past and present, how you would have to find an apartment soon because your dorm time was up and they weren’t offering you another semester to stay there, and how you hadn’t been able to sleep well at night thinking about it.

              “But you know it’s okay.”

              “Oh, is it really?” he grinned.

              “Yeah, I got a really good friend by my side.” You sincerely smiled.

              He returned the smile and the dinner plates arrived, distracting from the conversation.

              “If you need help finding an apartment, let me know!”

              “Sure!”

              You had taken him up on his offer and found a nice apartment on the other side of Seoul in a popular area near the subway exit.

              “I picked this one for you,” you remembered reading his text on the subway ride over, “because then you can come and see me play more often hahahahaha.”

              He was right, his gigs were all in this area and it made it easy to go and see him. And it was becoming more frequent that you would see him, too. After classes, on the weekends, in his apartment, in yours- it was becoming more and more frequent. You even spent his birthday with him. Your birthday was not too long after his, and he said he had prepared a surprise (however much a surprise _can_ be once you’re told about it).

 

              That was the Christmas you became a couple.

 

              Unfortunately, you couldn’t tell everyone about it (not that you necessarily wanted to) but you couldn’t even let a peep out about it. His company wouldn’t stand for it and so you agreed. His bandmate wasn’t as lucky, and you felt bad that he had a little more pressure on his shoulders that February, but he would always say, “As long as I have you, my day is fine.”

              “My day is always better with you, too.” You confessed to him.

              “Hm,” he thought, “But if I see you all day, and talk to you all day, does that mean that, _you_ are my day?” he laughed as he wrote something in his notebook before closing it.

              "It was so nice to see you at my shows all this time." he suddenly confessed, "It was like looking out and being able to see a friend there each time."

             "Wait, you saw me?"

             "Of course. I looked into your camera a lot on purpose. I wanted you to know that I saw you there."

             Your heart jumped a little as you pressed your cheek into his arm.

 

              He began sending you photos of himself on his journeys, in the car, wherever he went with his band, one even wearing the choker he stole from your apartment the last time he had been there. (But you let him keep it since it looked so much better on him than it did on you, anyway).

              You noticed that he would send messages to you secretly on his social media. Extra cheesy things that made you cringe, like “left behind a piece of my heart” or even simple things like ,”good luck on ur tests!”

              As the months rolled on, new songs came from his head and you were amazed at how he could just produce such beautiful lyrics, but reading them, you wondered what they were about, but never wanted to pry.

              “ _I wonder who the girl was before me? She must have really impacted his life if he’s always writing about…”_ your thoughts trailed off for a moment, but rereading the lyrics your heart stopped. These weren’t his experiences- these were yours! All of the times you had opened up to him about your past relationships were all here, immortalized in songs so eloquently (and in the reverse gender, of course), you couldn’t believe it.

              “How’s my girl?” he called you on the phone after his return from the United States for a concert show.

              “You’re back?”

              “Better than back! I’m at your front door!” he laughed and you ran to it, opening it quickly to see him standing there with a bright smile on his face. It was unbelievable! He had told you he was coming home the day after, but it must have been a lie so he could surprise you instead of the other way around.

              “I have something for you.” His words were playful and he held out a flat, black box.

              “The heck is this?” you asked and he laughed, telling you to open it.

              Inside were a pair of bracelets and when you looked up at him, he held up his arm to show that he had the same ones on already. Your heart leaped out of your chest and you tackled him in a hug.

              “Couple bracelets?” you squeaked you were overly excited and put them on immediately, listening to them jingle and jangle as you moved your hand around.

              “That way, I can always think of you no matter where I am. This one is called a 'pure heart' and this one is 'unexpected miracles', just like you.”

             "Just like your bike." you snickered, “You’re too much.” You gave him a kiss on his cheek and he froze a little.

              You always enjoyed it that he got butterflies from little kisses (not that you _didn’t,_ though) and it was always cute to see that he would still get excited over small things. And now this! A set of couple bracelets and looking at him further, you noticed that he was even wearing the same earrings as you, simple silver hoops.

              “Hey!” you gently flicked one with your finger, “What’s this? Are you copying me?”

              “Now we can be twins!” he smiled so brightly and your entire body flailed a bit, excited at his simple words.

              You gasped loudly and ran to your room, telling him to stay put. Returning back quickly, you had a bag in your hand.

              “You nearly made me forget! I got you this!”

              He took out the shirt you had bought for him and he held it up to himself and admired it, thanking you for such a nice find.

              “Hey, uh, so we can be twins.” You gave him an exaggerated wink.

              “Wait, really?” his nose scrunched as he smiled.

              “Yep! I got the same one!”

              The both of you were so excited and laughed happily about your in-synch thoughts even from a distance. All of his friends called you guys a power couple, especially since you managed to keep it a secret for so long. With his help, too, you excelled in speaking Korean, so everyone was not only familiar with your face, but were friendly with you, especially because of your efforts linguistically.

               The months spent together seemed endless and as summer melted into fall, your heart went everywhere.

 

              You never thought that this time would necessarily come- you would have to go home. Sure, you could always come back, but you knew in your heart that it would take a long time to be able to return. You called him out one day, and the two of you grabbed a coffee at a small café hidden away near your home.

              “Younghyun,” you spoke fondly as you rested your head against his shoulder, “I might have to go home soon.”

              “What?” he questioned, “Did you set a personal curfew for yourself?” he grinned, petting your head softly.

              “I mean back home-home. My country home.”

              His grin slowly fell, and he let out a short exhale, trying to make sense of it. “Home-home?” he exhaled deeply. 

              He had never been this quiet before, and it was almost unsettling. You looked up at his face and his eyes were a rosy shade of pink- he was trying to think of anything else _but_ this.

              “You really can’t stay?” he asked sincerely, his voice getting quieter. He picked up your hand and thumbed over the back of it.

              “I don’t think so. I have to return to my home, and I would have to get a job here in order to come back- and that might take a really long time.”

              “How long?” his words begged as much as his entire being did.

              “I don’t know.” Your thoughts trailed somewhere else and he held you in a hug, first putting his chin on the top of your head and then his cheek.

              “But why do I feel like that’s not the only thing that you’re here to tell me?” he sat up straight again and you could feel his heart break when he looked into your eyes.

              “Younghyun, I don’t think it would be fair to you if we were apart for so long without knowing if I can come back or not.”

              Hearing the words out loud did more damage than you had even initially thought it would cause.

              “We can stay together, it won’t be an issue.” He shook his head, trying to shake the words you had just spoken from his mind.

              “It wouldn’t be fair to you.” You wiped your falling tear before it traveled too far.

              “Please,” he begged your name, “we can stay together.”

              “I leave soon.” You told him and you could _see_ his heart breaking.

              “We don’t have to break up.”

              “We should, it's not fair to you .” You patted his hand and hid your shame. Shame because you knew that this was something that was bound to happen, but you pushed it off until the very end, but you knew it was the right thing to do after all had been said and done.

              “Let’s stay together for now, please.” His voice cracked, it begged. "Is it my fault?"

             "No, it's not you at all. The way I think is that, if I am away from you, I don't want you to have to worry about being around other people, and I don't want to see other people, either, but that isn't fair if I don't know when I'm coming back."

 

              The parting went smoothly between you two, he agreed not to go to the airport or it could raise suspicions, and the hours home felt twice as long as they did arriving to Korea all that time ago. You had wished it could be better, you wished that you could fix what had been broken, but even staying a secret, lying low like you were, something about it just didn’t feel right. You felt like he was being cheated somehow. You left in August. Both of your birthdays were melancholy. 

              It was in January that you noticed on his sns that he had been leaving messages for you there. You had never thought about it, but it hit you seeing his post in January of him lying on his bed with his headphones in and a sullen expression on his face claiming to be thinking about songs, but the title had you curious.  _Death of a what now_ _?_  

              You knew who Everyday February was about. The MV director tied it in with Congratulations, but the lyrics would suggest otherwise. 

              In March, you had written your own post about him, wishing to go back to him (of course, still not naming any names or giving any specifics. What a good girlfr- ex girlfriend you are were).  He responded with a teary-eyed selca of himself lying on his bed. He would leave messages to you on the fanboards, implying that it was for his fans instead, and you would respond. It was like a breakup war. Who was really doing okay, and who could get away with it the most. 

              But that’s all it was- this secret bickering back and forth you had sworn to the masses was only a bright coincidence from start to end.

              And as time went on, now April, that’s all you could tell yourself. That it was all just a once-in-a-lifetime encounter, an unexpected miracle. You hadn’t planned it that way, but when the two of you officially had called the end of the relationship before he was to go on a live broadcast and his demeanor looked rough- he had gotten no sleep and his words were slurring together, he was distant, spacy, and through your own heartbreak, you were apologizing for making him that way.

              Of course, in the public eye, he wouldn’t be allowed a day to sulk and feel sad, and he channeled that all into their current song, I Smile. Listening to the lyrics that he had penned, you knew that your experiences with him would be immortalized to tunes that many would sing in their daily lives. But behind closed doors, Kang Younghyun was a wreck. He wasn’t eating properly- either too much or never enough, he found no reason to get up early in the morning, and wasn’t taking care of his health. He was allowing his work to take the burden of his heart and the more you see him producing music, the more you know you’ve just added to his weight. The more months that go by, the more you can hear your story in the new songs.

              Leaving him was never the end.

              It will never be the end.

              It’s just a brand new sunrise to wake up to.

             And you were sure of it, that one day you'd be able to wake up in the same sunrise again. It would take time, and neither of you knew how much time it would take. But as they say, life finds a way.

**Author's Note:**

> * Korean semesters begin in January, so you as the reader had already finished your spring semester, and you were going into the fall semester


End file.
